Dear Renae (and Adrian),

As I prayerfully ask Yah to give me words of encouragement to share with you
I feel the enormous power of what Messiah accomplished on the cross.

For about the last decade I suffered through infertility. We
were not atheists but we never seriously sought an intimate relationship with Father through His Son. The damage that infertility did to us and our relationship was almost unbearable at times. Debt, intimacy issues, trust issues, blame issues, anger issues, depression, I could go on. There would be times I ended up on the floor weeping outloud and begging for God's mercy that I could not face the present nor the future childless. Being barren caused me
to feel enormous amounts of shame and humiliation. Fear of leading an empty
life, fear of all the things we would never experience by being childless.
Growing older but with no grandchildren, being vulnerable and lonely.

Then there were suicides in and around neighboring communities. Some had
greater possessions, children and grandchildren, respect in the community,
lots of friends and family that loved them, good jobs. At this point I
overcame my fear of reading the Bible on my own and decided that I had to
become serious about asking Messiah to help us overcome these things in our
lives. And He is working in our lives to help us overcome. And when I look
back at where we came from I can see what I was crying out for was Yah to
give me/us was a purpose. It was not necessarily children that would give
us purpose, but that is where the confusion and misery was rooted. Crying
out to God to give us more purpose in life than this, give life more meaning
than what it was. And He is showing us more and more everyday that He will
fill our lives with opportunity and meaning but it might not always be the
opportunities we ask for or expect. But He is giving us direction,
opportunity, and filling our lives with meaning, and that is simply to serve
Him. Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves, or impatient, asking what is Yah
trying to show us? Where is He leading us? What is He trying to teach us
about ourselves and Himself? And I think those are good questions to ask,
but sometimes it can become overwhelming and we can get lost in the
questions and miss the forest for the trees. Indeed Yah will not give you
more than you can handle. So Yah is not picking on you or punishing you but
He is saying Daughter, I know you better than you do! Daughter I know you
are strong, I am going to show you how strong you are! Daughter I am
getting ready to lift you up so that you may bring Me glory and have
powerful testimony to share with others. Daughter, you are going to be a
strong witness of the gospel and the blood of Yahshua Messiah. Daughter I
have heard your cries and I am answering you and you will serve Me and bring
Me glory! HalleluYah! You are a child of Yah, that is what you are. Your
past, present, and future only exist to serve Him. Being a child of Yah is
what defines you, your past is only a standard by which others see the power
and strength of Messiah and His working in your life. You are a new
creature in Messiah and with Yah's grace and leading you are growing into
the power of the Word sewn in your heart. Yah is patient and forgiving. Be
patient and forgiving with yourself too.

I do believe your faith is getting you through this, only you do not see it
at this present time. If you have begged Yah's forgiveness and trust Him to
forgive you, then forgive yourself. Yah's grace is a gift. Yah
wants you to succeed more than you do. Yah wants to use your life to bring
Him honor and glory more than you do. Yah wants to use your life so that
others may feel His Presence and love in and through you. Yah wants to use
your life as a living testimony of His mercy and compassion. Yah wants you
to overcome sin, doubt, and Satan. Yah wants to use your life to share the
gospel of Yahshua Messiah. If you are truly willing Yah will not
fail to bless you with opportunity and everything you need to serve Him.
Sometimes things are most difficult before Yah pours out a blessing. Keep
knocking, keep seeking, keep being hungry and Yah will answer and fill you.

The smallest victory at the end of the day is still a victory! Is there
anything in your life that you would not sell for all the money in the
world? Then you might as well be the richest person in the world. Yah
works all things for the benefit of those who love Him. I believe you love
Him and I believe He will work this situation for your benefit, although you
can not see where He is leading or where your life is going right now. I
think this is how we learn to walk by Faith and not by sight. He will lead
you through it and to a better place. This is an opportunity for you to
grow closer to Yah and in the end have a stronger and greater faith. This
situation can create a richer and deeper relationship with Him. At the same
time, don't be afraid to ask for prayer and support from brethren. In times
like these is when as the body of believers we can grow closer and bond. We
can overcome adversity together. We share in each other's blessings as well
as calamities. It is an opportunity for brethren to share testimony of how
Yah worked in their lives and sing Him praises. Sharing testimony is
edifying both in good times and bad. Life can be a struggle sometimes and
those times is when we can really understand and appreciate the precious
brethren Yah has given us and the gifts He has graciously blessed them with
for the edifying and building up of the body of Messiah. Thank you Yah for
every member of the body.

Most High God, may Your Presence fill the life of Renae & Adrian. You hear
their prayers, please reveal and make known to them the enormity and vastness of Your love for them. Bless their hearts and minds and beings with understanding of how much you greatly value them by Your willingness to give Your Beloved Son to die for us. Let Your peace come over them and let them find rest in You. Cheer them with complete trust that You forgive them and wish for them to prosper physically and emotionally. We plead for the precious blood of Messiah to cover them and protect them so that the enemy not be allowed to enter and cause turmoil in their life. May they come to walk in all Your promises and resources to overcome made available to us through Master
Messiah. Send Your holy fire so that Your Light burns hot and bright in and
through their life so others sing praises and glorify You when they see Your
work in their life. May you bless us all as we seek to grow in grace, understanding, and knowlege of You.

I hope this email is a blessing to you, and not too long winded! Please
keep sharing your life with us, the struggles and victories. A struggle is
only a victory waiting to happen or adversity is victory in the making!

Shalom & love,
Renae

Thank you, Renae. Your willingness to be vulnerable in sharing your pain and sorrows in order to encourage the brethren is a beautiful expression of the love of Elohim.......becky