Greetings in Our Fathers name, Yahweh,

Before I begin my posting, may I ask each of you who reads this to pray with me to our Heavenly Father, Yahweh. Thank You!

I've known my husband since I was 15, he was a dear friend of mine and not a boy friend. Years later, much later, (almost 12 years ago) we got married. At the time he seemed like such a Good Christian and we use to talk about our faith in God (Yahweh). He knew that I had a powerful belief and that searching the Bible and Churchs was a quest I was on for the "Truth". Once married I continued to seek for the truth in different churchs (not that I church hopped each week, but I'd go to one for awhile to see what their beliefs were.)with his permission of course. It was after we were married that he didn't have any intrest in going to church.

About 2 years after we were married my husband started to change, he no longer wanted to talk about Yahweh and he made it clear that I could study, but I wasn't to talk about it any longer with him. I continued with my Slient Study and have tried to follow the way the Bible talks about being submissive to my husband. I've tried to act and show love the way Yahweh would want me to.

With his permission I was allowed to have a Bible study at home with a dear lady friend of mine, but only during the hours he wasn't home. Since we worked different shifts this was no problem. And it wasn't long before my husband wanted me to stop that, so I did.

As time went on my husband would make fun of me for studying and would down me for it. Of course this hurt deeply, yet it would just make me turn to Yahweh that much more for His help through prayer.

My husband and I are over the road Truck Drivers (which I never wanted to do, but I did it hoping it would draw us closer, and he'd already quit his job, just one day came home and told me he quit) We drive team in the same truck. I drive days, he drives nights and to my surprise one day he told me about a Christain radio station. I just knew that God (Yahweh) was answering my prayers, that things were looking up, that just maybe by my actions and not pushing, that my husband was going to draw closer to Yahweh.

I was very happy to listen to the radio station. I did this for about 3 months and one day my husband said to me, "You really need to stop listening to that, as it's giving you ideas." When I asked him what he ment, his reply was, "Well listen to them, they are giving you ideas on how a man is suppose to treat his wife, that's not me and I'm not going to do it." It was a serman on how "Men should treat their wife and the scriptures that go with it from the Bible." I looked at him and said,"All they are doing is telling what the Bible says."

Then they started talking about how a wife should act towards her husband. He really picked up on the part that said, "See you are to be submissive to me and do as I tell you." Now I don't know if any of you have XM radio or not but it's "The family Channel" I listen to on there. So I stopped listening to The Family Channel.

I continued my Bible Study, praying to Yahweh and had many "Christain" books on the Truck. While waiting for the fork lift drivers to unload the truck, I'd be sitting in the seat reading my Bible while my husband was sleeping. Sometimes he'd wake up and say, "What you doing?" I'd tell him I was reading my Bible while we were getting unloaded. His reply would always be colorful, we'll just leave it at that.

At night when I go to bed in the bunk, while he's driving, (the bunk curtains are closed) I faithfully read the word of Yahweh and pray to him. My husband isn't happy about that either, but I refuse to give up reading my Bible in order to be a "submissive wife" as my husband likes to throw at me.

I've been praying for years to Yahweh to please touch my husbands heart. I know without a doubt that Yahweh is hearing my prayers, yet my husband has "free will" and anything that has to do with Yahweh or the Bible is taboo to him.

For the past six years my husband has made it clear to me that I'm to listen to him, answer what he wants to talk about and other than that I'm to be slient. I'm to do the day driving,picking up and dropping the trailers(which puts me working 2 days more than him every trip) I fuel the truck, make sure the matience is done, I do the paperwork, cooking/cleaning etc when we get home. While he sleeps on the couch, day and night.

I must admit, I've told him I'm lonely and that it'd be nice to have a kiss or a hug at least once a week. I'm not allowed to cry in front of him, for if I do he gets verbally abussive and loud about it.

In the Truck stops he doesn't care what colorful language he uses, (Most truck drivers out there talk with respect in the Truck stops.) and he's even turned a few heads of men truck drivers, more than once, for the way he talks to me in public. I once whispered to him (no one else heard) to please not talk that way in public which was a mistake as he only got louder about it.

This is just a few "highlites" of what's going on. But I do know this, Yahweh from what I've read on this website (about husbands, wifes and so on)and others, not to mention in His Word, doesn't want me to live like this.

My husband several times has told me to go get a divorce, yet for years, I keep praying and trying. There's no doubt in my mind that my husband doesn't love me, because I've asked him.

So now what? I don't want to go against Yahweh in any way, but yet I want to grow and have the "freedom" of serving Yahweh the way I know is correct.

Thank you for your time and may Yahweh Bless each and every one of you.

Shalom adelore,

I just finished reading your post and I just wanted you to know I prayed for you. I am very sorry that you are in this situation and I have asked YHWH to have mercy upon you, and to help you in whatever way is best. Keep reading and searching the scriptures, our strength is in them.

In YHWH
Sam

hi adelore,

I'm sorry about your hard time, I feel for you.

Just curious, if your husband asks you to divorce him, why didn't you be submissive to him and just do that? this way, you do what YHWH asks you (in being submissive), and your husband gets what he wants, and you are free to serve YHWH.

Paul did mention that if a spouse is happy to stay with a believing spouse, that is fine... as the believing spouse is free to serve YHWH with no problems, and may win the unbelieving spouse to Him... but if the unbelieving spouse resents and gives hints... perhaps it is okay to go your way with YHWH.

My thoughts may be wrong, I hope EliYah will be able to help you out with advice here.

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Blessed be the Name of YHWH

[This message has been edited by bluesun (edited 03-15-2007).]

Shalom,

I read your post with grief in my spirt, because sister, I can understand. All of it. Our past paths are very similar. I was with an unbeliever for 18 years. <sigh>

Where Yahuah brought me was the last time the man said "I want a divorce" I took him up on his offer.

Now I have a husband that loves the Father, Son, and Torah. He encourages me to study and rules our home well. There is so much shalom (peace). It took a while but I sleep well at night. For years I didn't. I couldn't.

Sister, you may email me if you are so prompted: chayil@yahuahreigns.com

I'm here for you and if I can uplift you in any way, Yahuah willing, I will.

May He have everlasting kindness and compassion on you,

Chayil Ishshah

May the Blessings of Yahweh be with you all.

Thank you so much for the warm and heartfelt prayers and the friendships here.

I'm out in the Truck now so I don't get much of a chance to get on the internet. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with each of you.

Again, my many thanks to all who have read my posting and prayed to Yahweh about this. I know several of you have prayed and maybe didn't post, but prayer is so powerful and it means so very much to me.

Chayli,

I sent you an e-mail. Shalom!

Shalom Adelore

First, welcome to the family of YHWH!

May YHWH our Father grant you all that you need to live unto HIM.

I do not know your husband, but I do know what it is to be ONE in YHWH. It doesn't sound like you are ONE in HIM at this moment. That doesn't mean that it is yet an impossiblilty to be there. You did express that at one time your husband seemed to be a 'christian'.

I do know however, that YHWH's Word sets out directives for us, HIS people. I do not share thisto bring condemnation to anyone! I know the condemnation of man far too well!

YHWH showed me this:

Deu 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

Num 30:12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and YHWH shall forgive her.

YHWH made man to be the head, so man 'can' give his wife a bill of divorcement, and man 'can' make a vow void in which a woman as bound her soul void.

This is for a man to seek out and be accountable before YHWH. It also remains between YHWH and the man, for YHWH alone is our judge.

In all things, remember your struggle is not with flesh and blood, but:
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Though it is hard, remember also to be patient and forbearing, knowing for such a one, (and me and you) that Yahushua gave HIS life for. The words you speak, may they all be words of life, that would encourage faith. Focus on that which you can compliment on, and encourage growth. There is always hope, that is what YHWH showed me. May YHWH shows him the "will" that he is trapped in, and turn that to be YHWH's will alone.
Let YHWH make and determine every decision. For some indeed, as Sha'ul says, can be won without a word, by our chaste example.

Should YHWH seek you to be freed from this....HE will make a way!

Many times the woman rises up and tries to be the "spiritual head". There is no such thing...for in the Spirit....YHWH ordained who the head is. Love never fails, and prayers never do either!

May YHWH set you free to worship in the method of HIS choosing. May you come to know true being ONE in HIM,....by HIS desire! Above all, may you rise up above the storm, and find peace that passes understanding through Yahushua.

Know we are praying for you.

I'd like to share what I sent out in a devotional last night:
I believe the author of this poem reveals what is in my heart about this topic much more eloquently than I ever could. His name is Bill Britton.
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Dethrone The King
Dying To Self

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting or hurt with the insult or oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Messiah -- that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded or your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even to defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence -- that is dying to self.

When you lovingly, patiently bear any disorder and irregularity, any impunctuality or any annoyance; when you come face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensitivity.. and endure it just as Yahushua endured it-- that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of Elohim-- that is dying to self.

When you never refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to go unknown -- that is dying to self.

When you can see your brother or sister have his or her needs met and can honestly rejoice in spirit and can feel no envy nor question YHWH, while you own needs are far greater and in more desperate circumstances -- that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart -- that is dying to self.
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YHWH has revealed to me that I have yet much dying to do! I am thankful for HIS love and patience, and forgivenss, and my hearts cry before HIM is to attain this "death" swiftly in all areas of my life! May you be as encouraged as I am to know that with YHWH, nothing is impossible..and that HE will bring to perfection that which HE has begun in us, as we yield ourselves totally to HIS will and way! I am thankful first for HIM being my life, and than for my husband and family and brethren to encourage me in HIS Way!
Fill my cup YHWH!! Love in Yahushua, Tamar
Feel free to email at soarntam@hughes.net

.

Shalom,

I have read the new postings and I'm very thankful for all the advise and information.

Yes I agree Yahweh will do things in His own time. I also agree that it's possible that my husband will be saved or brought back towards Yahweh through my actions. I don't push Yahweh or any belief towards my husband, that would be wrong as the man is suppose to be the head of the household. And yet I must admit when I see the hand of Yahweh protecting us on the Truck, for there have been several things that have happened, that only Yahweh could have protected us from.

For example, one day while I was driving I lost Every lug nut that held on the front left steer tire. This caused the "clips" that hold on the hub, which is what the rim is put onto, all to break off. Then the right steer tire lost all but 4 lug nuts. Now this happened while climbing a mountain with a total of 78,000. By all rights I should have lost the rim, tire and so on. There was Nothing holding this tire on. I drove up the mountain and then on into Joplin, Mo. (About 70 miles)

We then went into Petro and the Mechanic there told my husband and I that by all rights we should have rolled the truck going up the mountain. I had explained to the Mechanic when the nosie I heard had started but there was no where to pull off the side of the mountain to check on things. I smiled and said, "No God was driving." The mechanie and my husband both looked at me like I was a loone. I smiled again and said to the mechanic, "You just told us that there was no reason that we shouldn't have rolled that truck down the mountain." "Yes, Ma'am that's right, you shouldn't be standing here right now as you can see there's nothing holding this rim onto the hub!" He was showing us this in the bay/repair area.

"I agree with you, that's why I say, it was God driving and keeping things in control. I really believe that." I said. He looked back at the tire and then at me and then to my husband he said, "You know sir, she's right there's no other way to explain it." My husband looked at the Mechanic and then the tire/hub and said, "Yea Whatever."

Like I said I don't push Yahweh, (back then I refered to Him as God) and yet I don't think it's wrong to praise Him or give Yahweh the credit for what I know is His hand in things. Yet my husband has informed me I can keep "those kind of thoughts" to myself.

So now my question is this. If I'm not allowed to give praise or credit to Yahweh when something like this happens, I just don't feel I'd be giving the proper honor to Yahweh when I know I should. After all the mechanic later told me while I was paying the bill, that he didn't think at all about God, but the fact that we had came in and he could see I really had faith in God, was really giving him something to think about. For he had never seen in over 20 years something like this without the drivers ending up in an accident or in our case, he believed we should be dead at the bottom of the mountain.

I gave the mechanic some information on where he could get to know God and Jesus better. He thanked me and said that maybe this happened for his sake and not ours.

This is just one example of many that I know Yahweh is answering my prayers. I know He's trying to touch my husbands heart, but it's up to my husband to listen to Yahweh.

Now I really want to be able to worship Yahweh the right way and I'd love to be able to observe the Sabbath, but how can I do that, when my husband forbids me to? My husband forces me to work on the Sabbath! He did allow me once to explain what I found out about the Sabbath. From that point on, it only got worse. I'm really in a lot of tumoil here as my husband has told me to "get these religous ideas out of my head."

I really do believe I have patience as I've been praying for Yahweh to touch my husbands heart except for the first 2 years of our marriage, things about the Bible and Yahweh were pretty good then. We prayed together even back then. We even had Bible study with our (back then) small children. We have 4 grown children and 9 grandchildren. What happened to cause the change? From what I can see, it's when my husband started to spend a lot of time with people who weren't Christians who were into "party and drinking" and just having a "good time".

Thank you all for your prayers. May the Blessing of Yahweh be with you and your family.

Shalom adelore

I wrote a testimony regarding my relationship with my dad.

http://www.eliyah.com/forum2/Forum12/HTML/000070.html

The main point of my testimony was that I did not have to verbalize EVERYTHING that was in my heart in order for YHWH to know my heart. He does not require public displays of faith in order to know and bless us.
Although people will say scriptures says we must confess Him before men -there are more scriptures that tell us to do alms and deeds and prayer in secret or silence.

We can have a silent and secret faith before YHWH just as we can pray in the secret closet and be blessed by YHWH who is in the secret place.

The whole passage of Matthew 6 is

Mat 6:1 “Beware of doing your kind deeds before men, in order to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in the heavens.



This sharing of the gospel with a stranger may seem like a reward but your husband is the true reward. Do not accept small rewards from men and miss the higher priority.

Mat 6:5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the congregations and on the corners of the streets, to be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward.


To love our husbands is worshipping YHWH the right way. Your husband did allow you to explain what you found out about the sabbath so he knows exactly where you stand. Now when you endure the grief of working on the Sabbath and do it patiently and as unto YHWH, then you find favor with YHWH.
In my opinion, moreso than to fight or pout with your husband in the name of YHWH over the sabbath.

1Pe 2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.
1Pe 2:19 For this is commendable, if a man for conscience toward YHWH endures grief, suffering wrongfully.
1Pe 2:20 For what glory is it, if, when you be buffeted for your faults, you shall take it patiently? but if, when you do well, and suffer for it, you take it patiently, this is commendable with YHWH.


I personally have a challenge with women trying to change their husbands through any means including prayer. It insinuates that she knows what he is supposed to BE. He may already be what YHWH wants for him and we are judging him.
What do ANY of us know about being someone other than who we are? But especially, what do women know about being a man?
We may be able to help our husbands to understand how a woman thinks and feels and wants to be treated but that is the extent of it.
I am really sticking my neck out here since I do not know you or your husband but I am going to guess that your husband has had enough stuffy, dry religion and is looking for some life in his life.

True relationship with YHWH is LIFE and life more abundant, but religion will suffocate and kill.

Adelore, again I do not know you or your husband but I had the impression that you are not a new believer since you have grown children and have been in the faith for all but two of those years. Hence I felt I could speak to you this way.

Shalom
Sharon



[This message has been edited by squartucci (edited 03-22-2007).]

Sharon, at first when i read this, i thought "Ah, yes, that old question - if i have to make a choice do i obey YHWH or do i obey YHWH?"

Then all the examples and verses you used about having your faith to yourself and not doing good deeds to be seen - that i don't think even applies according to what adelore said. And this:
(I personally have a challenge with women trying to change their husbands through any means including prayer. It insinuates that she knows what he is supposed to BE. He may already be what YHWH wants for him and we are judging him.) surprised me totally! I don't understand why there would be something thought wrong with wanting to your husband to be and act like a believer! The more i thought about it, the more i saw something in it. Not the way i took it perhaps, but the fact that the situation as described calls for perserverance and trust on her part.
Be not weary in well-doing...
and
Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of Elohim, because you know that your labor in your El is not in vain.

Adelore, perhaps your husband is blinded or turned away for a time (too long, right?!) so that the Father can work on YOU. What good can you see eventually coming out of such a frightening, frustrating situation? Our Father sees your life and knows what you need. He sees your husband's life and knows what he needs. What do you need from YHWH to survive this another 7 or 8 years?

Shalom adelore

So much input here Through my trials and storms, YHWH showed me this:
HE never changes, HIS Word is eternal. Follow HIM alone.

I shared this poem last night, and was compelled to share it here with you.

Through the Storms
I did not know His love before,
the way I know it now.
I could not see my need for Him,
my pride would not allow.
I had it all, without a care,
the "Self-sufficient" lie.
My path was smooth, my sea was still,
not a cloud was in my sky.

I thought I knew His love for me,
I thought I'd seen His grace,
I thought I did not need to grow,
I thought I'd found my place.
But then the way grew rough and dark,
the storm clouds quickly rolled;
The waves began to rock my ship,
my anchor would not hold.

The ship that I had built myself
was made of foolish pride.
It fell apart and left me bare,
with nowhere else to hide.
I had no strength or faith to face
the trials that lay ahead,
And so I simply prayed to Him
and bowed my weary head.

His loving arms enveloped me,
and then He helped me stand.
He said, "You still must face this storm,
but I will hold your hand."> So through the dark and lonely night
He guided me through pain.
I could not see the light of day
or when the storm might wane.

Yet through the aches and endless tears,
my faith began to grow.
I could not see it at the time,
but my light began to glow.
I saw YHWH's love in brand new light,
His grace and mercy, too.
For only when all self was gone
could Yahushua's love shine through.

It was not easy in the storm,
I sometimes wondered, "Why?"
At times I thought, "I can't go on."
I'd hurt, and doubt, and cry.
But Yahushua never left my side,
He guided me each day.
Through pain and strife,
through fire and flood,
He helped me all the way.

And now I see as never before
how great His love can be.
How in my weakness He is strong,
how Yahushua cares for me!
He worked it all out for my good,
although the way was rough.
He only sent what I could bear,
and then He cried, "Enough!"

He raised His hand and said, "Be still!"
He made the storm clouds cease.
He opened up the gates of joy
and flooded me with peace.
I saw His face now clearer still,
I felt His presence strong,
I found anew His faithfulness,
He never did me wrong.

Now I know more storms will come,
but only for my good,
For pain and tears have helped me grow
as naught else ever could.
I still have so much more to learn
as Yahushua works in me;
If in the storm I'll love Him more,
that's where I want to be!

Unknown Author
You are in our prayers..
Tamar

May Yahweh's Blessing be with you all.

I found the new postings intresting in many ways.

My question is are you saying I should be Toatally Submisive to my Husaband?

If I am totally submisive to my husbands wishes, then I would end up NOT being able to read Yahweh's word, pray to him, and by no means ever be thankful for all that Yahweh has done for us. Not to mention the Vulgar language my husband uses in public and private, he thinks I'm "crazy" because I refuse to talk like that. My husband also wants me to dress more like a man. This I refuse to do.

The religous ideas that my husband is refering to, is just reading the word of Yahweh, (which I do in slient) and praying to Yahweh, (again I do in slient). Behind the curtains of the bunk area of the truck, this way I'm not offending my husband, yet he gets upset even if I'm doing it out of his sight. When he ask what I'm doing, I tell him I'm reading, (notice I didn't say what.) Then when he ask what I'm reading, I have to tell the truth. Of course then he gets all upset about it.

If we were all "Slient" about every good thing that Yahweh has done for us, then wouldn't that be wrong? After all isn't there enough of Satans hand in this world? I believe that Yahweh leads us to Glorify His name without stand on streeth corners as some do. When the moment happens praising Him and His name in front of others, to me is not wrong.

If we were all "Slient" than how would anyone come to know our Father and His Son? I agree there is a proper time and place.

Shalom adelore

My answer - Do you have other options?

I saved this discussion from a Jewish Rabbi's webpage. I thought it to be excellent advice. It is addressed to a husband regarding his wife who is hostile towards the things of Hashem (the jewish faith reference to YHWH)

I don't know if it works both ways - wife toward husband - but you can decide if it is any help to you.


Please know that along with all my advice are my prayers to YHWH for you and empathy for your situation.

Love & shalom
Sharon

Shalom adelore

If it's not wrong to you and it works for you. Carry on.
But if it is not working for you then you may want to consider some other options.

1Pe 3:1 Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the<big> conduct </big>of the wives;

Conduct
G391
anastrophe&#772;
an-as-trof-ay'
From G390; behavior: - conversation.

Shalom,
Sharon