For any of you that grew up with no men around, did you
ever find a way to be involved with men or boys doing
'guy things' that interested you?
Or if someone approached you now at church to ask if
you could spend time with a child putting a motor together
or playing music, what would you do?

How do the men in your assemblies involve the younger
boys? Or are they left to the women until they're older? My
son is now taking everything electrical or mechanical apart,
loves tools of all kinds and needs someone to do things with.
The reason I ask about men in the assembly is that I really
don't want him spending too much time with men who are not
believers.

[This message has been edited by tedack (edited 06-08-2006).]

Shalom!

First, I am curious, what kind of group do you meet with?

When I read your post, I could relate to what you were trying to accomplish. When I was a single mom in the 'church' my son was 5 years old. I wanted my son to have a fatherlike mans influence so I approaced the head of the mens ministry and asked if they would ask the men at the next meeting if they would pray and see if anyone felt led to spend some quality time with my son. I had one of the other fathers in the group approach me shortly after being asked to pray about this. He said he felt led to share time with my son. It was such a blessing. He included my son in all the activities he did with his son. He took my son on weekend vacations with his son and family. It was a blessing that this man stepped in and showed my son the love he did.

The reaction that you got from the man you approached shocked me. Is there anyone else you could ask? Is there maybe someone your leader may recommend to spend time with your son?

I will lift this situation up in prayer. There will be an answer, maybe this man was not the right one.

Blessings!

Thank you for your reply! And I'm so glad you're someone
who's done the same thing; at the time I felt really odd and
like I was probably imposing - but we have to do what it
takes for our kids! YHWH is so good to us, I'm happy to hear
that He worked it out like that for you. Did it feel odd to
you to have your baby go off with another family? Did you
know them very well? Since you know it was an answer to
prayer, I guess you knew it would be okay, right?
If there's a "usual" way to get boys involved with others,
I'd like to hear about it. My 11 yr old is the last one left
at home, the next oldest started college last Sept. My little
one is used to a home full of big brothers (youngest of 5 boys)
so I don't really know what to do with him now!

[This message has been edited by tedack (edited 05-27-2006).]

[This message has been edited by tedack (edited 05-27-2006).]

Shalom!

I went to the leader of the men's ministry and asked them to present in the next mens meeting that there was a single mom with a son that she wanted to have a "father like, spiritual influence" on her son. If I were in your shoes I would go to your Rabbi/leader and ask that he present this to some of the men/fathers in the group. I know in our group now there are some single men (early 20's to mid 20's) who could also be considered a 'good influence' on younger men/boys.

I have to say that I knew this family, not very well at first . They had a son a year younger than my son. They became like brothers. In the begining I felt like I was imposing but in time I knew that this family grew to love my son. They started inviting my entire family (myself, my son and his two younger sisters) over for birthdays and dinners, we became very close.

It started out slow...a couple hours out bowling here and there. Then to hanging out a day over the weekend doing things together. Then they started to ask for a sleepover and then invited him to the family weekend get-away. The boys became like brothers. It was just an answer to prayer!

Yah knows your desire and your sons needs. I would pray that He bring the right person into your sons life. And also approach your rabbi and let him know your desire for a spiritual male influence in your sons life.

I will be praying for you and this situation. Please, please, let me know how this all goes! My prayers are with you! And if you want to ask anymore questions or just talk, please keep asking.

Hallah! Guess what?!
My son was walking to the mailbox (down the street) a few days
ago and got distracted by my neighbor who was in his garage
playing with motors and such. The guy offered my son one of
his old motors that still works. Then tonight he came down here
with his three daughters, we all talked, the kids all played and the
dad spent lots of time talking to my son about gears, rpms, and
taught him about torque - the missing term my son knew had to
exist but hadn't had anyone to tell him about!
It was awesome! The guy has always been impressed with my
son's music, he offered several months ago to pay for my son
to give his daughter drum lessons. I think my son was too shy,
besides, it was a GIRL! Yucch! He still may though.
This isn't a permanent thing because when the guy found out we
plan to move, he asked to buy my house! We're supposed to be moving
back out west. It just showed my son once again that our Father
answers prayer - either we end up staying here and my son
has a man to 'hang' with and discuss guy things with for a long
time; or he has that for a short time so he knows it can happen
and we get the house sold and move back home!

Praise Yah! How awesome! Not only does your son have a guy to talk to about guy things, he offered to buy your house! Is your house even on the market yet? Just curious What an awesome testimony! I was just thinking about you a couple of days ago and wondering how things were going with you regarding this. Thank you so much for the update! This is just awesome news! Praise Yah! He knows your needs and your hearts desire and has answered you! And more...I can't believe he offered to buy your house too! Talk about a package deal Blessings to you!